The next post in our, “The First Month” series is from a new friend Grace. Her and her husband Joe welcomed baby Theo back on September 19, and, oh, he is a cutie.
Thank you so much for sharing Grace! Your answers are beautiful. I love when parents can connect over each other’s newness – everyone’s first month with a newborn is always filled with so much everything – so much change, so much emotion, so much understanding.
I hope these Q’s are also beneficial to interviewees, giving them a chance to reflect on that first month and record it because, really, during that first month, I think anyone’s main memory is just, “Was I awake?”
“The First Month” with Grace Torreano
1. Can you write five to 10 words – either separate descriptive words or a short sentence – that describe the first month of being a new mom?
I felt stronger than ever before having given birth, yet humbled by the amount of energy it took to collectively care for such a tiny being that we felt so much love for.
2. What is one thing that you can tell us that you weren’t sure you would tell anybody about what you are feeling or have felt this past month?
How hard it was to feel so much emotion and not feel myself. I knew I had a lot of healing ahead but it was hard to see my body and how it changed. It seems vain but I wanted things to go back to the way they were (with the baby of course.) 🙂 Also – I was really proud of giving birth. I had such a wonderful birth experience and I was so proud of bringing Theo into the world after growing him from such a little bean.
3. What is the one thing that took you off-guard, that surprised you the most?
That I would be able to function on so much less sleep than I had in the past. How fast time would go. The hours/days/months go by so fast and he changes so quickly. One day this works, the next week it’s something completely new. Being a type A person – I always want to figure out what makes him tick. How to make him sleep or soothe himself, but I have to trust in the process and understand that we’re not going to know everything about him in the six weeks he’s been here.
4. What are the moments and experiences that you have enjoyed the most this past month?
Seeing Joe take care of Theo and evolve into the great father I always knew he would be. I feel so much love and strength in my relationship with Joe. There is no one else in the world I would rather parent with. Being together just the three of us, stealing quiet moments together and knowing that Theo will never be this small again.
5. What do you wish was different?
I wish our country/world would have a better balance for new moms. Feeling pulled in two directions even with such a young infant when I’m home on leave has been hard for me. I wish it was more acceptable to want both a career and to be a mom.
6. Someone is about to give birth – she asks you for one piece of advice, and you say:
Let go of what you can’t control. Trust in your health practitioner, your partner and most of all – trust in yourself that your body was made to do this. You are strong and so close to meeting your little one! Birth is just the last step before you get to hold them and the real fun begins.
7. What is a question that you have for other moms?
Hmm – I would ask what they wish they would have done when their littles were little. Like write down more memories or something like that. I know time flies and I want to savor every minute.
8. How has this changed you?
My time is not my own. I understood that would happen but didn’t fully comprehend until it happened. I am a protector and a caretaker of this little small being that we created!
9. What do you look forward to?
Seeing him grow. Watching his personality develop and all the many wonderful memories and adventures we’ll have as a family. I love that it’s the three of us and can’t wait to experience life with him.
10. When you are gazing at your baby snoozing, what are you thinking about?
Should I a) sleep b) work c) clean up d) just stare at him. 🙂